I have learned that my thoughts matter, literally. Thoughts create an energy and energy creates perception which in turn creates reality. I think, therefore I am, rings truer than most comprehend. The very realization that I give matter to what I mentally give importance to has transformed my life. I have caught myself mentally looping, or over analyzing which is perhaps the most destructive manifestation of all. I decided to jump off the mental hamster wheel. This allowed me to go from a recycling of my thoughts to a stream of thoughts than to a thought form. By this point I saw just how powerful thought process is and that my thought created form. Now this was about to get even more interesting because I saw how my thoughts kept me either in the past in a self-perpetuating story, or fast forwarded to my future, both toxic.
The ego kept me a prisoner to my thoughts that centered around a story based on past events. The story fed on my fears by reminding me of the pain, so I would stay within the story that I had accepted as safe. However, this kept me lopping in my past pain, and suffering. I realized it is possible to go into the fear and pain to end the suffering. Simply accepting the hurt because it was a part of me that I had lived with for so long. I forgave all parties involved, loved and embraced my truth, and set myself free from the storyline. I began to integrate into a new and improved self, growing conscious of the triggers into my story. Eventually, I no longer chose the story, and was no longer bound to my past. My past no longer mattered, which brought me into my future.
My future focus made matters worse still. I was so obsessed with my outcomes that I was not actively living. This is the equivalent of an action based hamster wheel. Sure, I had an end goal in mind, but was unwavering on the ending results which do not take into account the dynamics and flow of life as an ever-changing force. I was expending all this energy, but going absolutely nowhere. After exhausting myself, I became conscious that I was trying to make matter out of nothing. A new awareness that I had to no longer be chained to my thoughts, or actions of the past, or my future, but only within the moment.
The epiphany that I matter, and manifest, but only am, set me on an uncharted course. I faithfully stepped out of my comfort zone of where I was going, and flowed with the current of life. This requires no expense of energy, only trust, blind trust. Fear is no longer present here because I no longer need to react. Reaction is a choice, whereas, interaction integrates conscious thought into heartfelt action, which matters the most.