My Dearest Adam,
I literally was blinded by the light from my heart and soul recognition with you. God kept showing me flashes of light in the early days. I have witnessed a thread of light between our hearts that angled up to God which revealed to me just how sacred our connection is. There seemed to be a light show around us when we were physically together. You have illumined to me many times, with a haze around you, with orbs and star bursts and streams of light around you, with a white light from your chest that expanded out bathing your body. I believe you saw that with me that day too because the way you looked at me and started away. The next day, you texted me that it was good to “see” me the other day, and that we would “see” about something later. You were stressing to me that you saw something. My favorite light of all though, is seeing you light up when you smile at me, you glow. Your authentic smile is your soul light shining like the most amazing ray of sunshine I have ever experienced, it shows me that you are more alive than anybody I have ever known, and I live to see your smiling face always. The light is the easy part of this journey, you lit me on fire, and brought me back to God, with one touch of your hand, my soul ember lit aflame.
The darkness, however, is another story. I remember years ago we were talking candidly about this journey with each other. I will never forget you simply saying, “the darkness…” and looking down shaking your head since no words could properly convey the darkest parts to this journey. I told you that we must survive the darkness to truly appreciate the light. You nodded your head up and down. I added that we must experience and overcome all the darkness to truly appreciate the sunlight shining on our faces which you emphatically agreed. The darker sides to ourselves, our shadow sides, our fears; all must be accepted by us as well. We must love all of ourselves; light, and dark to be fully whole and authentic. This is where we deal with abandonment, or rejection core wounds that we must bring into neutrality. Until we love how we cope with, and create abandonment, and rejection within our lives, we are in resistance to our authentic, unconditional love that we are at our core, and continue to recreate these wounds repeatedly within what we were conditioned love to be.
I went to a spiritual retreat once, had a reiki session, and during one group discussion was unlocked into the full flow of unconditional love. It was so powerful that I literally cried and laughed at the same time, and it was expanding and recycling within every pore and fiber of me, and expanding out all around me, cycling back to me. You felt me unlock and texted me checking in on me within twenty to thirty minutes of the unlocking. About a week later, I was texting you, I triggered you. The next day, I felt you unlock, it was almost as powerful for me as it was when I unlocked, so I knew what you felt when I unlocked. We were not talking though, since I had upset you, so I did not check in with you in response. You had felt that I was not respecting you when I triggered you, so I told you I would respect your wishes and leave you alone. It was so difficult for me to not reach out to you, knowing what you went through, and I felt you go through. Nineteen days passed without me texting you, and you texted me. We reconciled and resumed communication.
This journey has taught me that I choose an energy, and you would respond in kind to my energy. I now see that I was continuing my inner wounded cycle of conditional love with myself, and you. I realized that I had to love myself, give to myself, receive within myself before I could send out love to you, give to you, receive you. I once told you that you are the extraordinary in a sea of ordinary. You are the breath of fresh air that lit my soul ember aflame, a gift from God. When you spoke to me, “where is my Heaven on Earth? I am ready for it.”, I saw prismatic lights coming out of you. The energy that I felt coming from you was so intense that it made me feel like I was dizzily spinning. In fact, in the moment my instinct was to walk up to you and touch you for grounding because you felt like the only stable thing around me.
Years ago, you let me know you were almost to your “Ah, happiness!”. I want you to appreciate the sunshine on your face every day. I want to know that every day your face lights up with your megawatt smile, and the world feels your glow. You are a brilliant light to witness in this dark world, I see your flame burning bright, and thank God for bearing witness of your authentic magnificence. I am aware that you are not perfect, I am not perfect, and accept you, and me for all that we are. I am attracted to your heart, and soul, as well as physically. You once joked with me that I wanted you for your body, and I played along, however, there is an intimacy with you that lets me know that I can connect with you at every level; mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. I know our connection is sacred, and I honor it, and God’s divine plans for our future.
Eternally Yours,
Eve
I literally was blinded by the light from my heart and soul recognition with you. God kept showing me flashes of light in the early days. I have witnessed a thread of light between our hearts that angled up to God which revealed to me just how sacred our connection is. There seemed to be a light show around us when we were physically together. You have illumined to me many times, with a haze around you, with orbs and star bursts and streams of light around you, with a white light from your chest that expanded out bathing your body. I believe you saw that with me that day too because the way you looked at me and started away. The next day, you texted me that it was good to “see” me the other day, and that we would “see” about something later. You were stressing to me that you saw something. My favorite light of all though, is seeing you light up when you smile at me, you glow. Your authentic smile is your soul light shining like the most amazing ray of sunshine I have ever experienced, it shows me that you are more alive than anybody I have ever known, and I live to see your smiling face always. The light is the easy part of this journey, you lit me on fire, and brought me back to God, with one touch of your hand, my soul ember lit aflame.
The darkness, however, is another story. I remember years ago we were talking candidly about this journey with each other. I will never forget you simply saying, “the darkness…” and looking down shaking your head since no words could properly convey the darkest parts to this journey. I told you that we must survive the darkness to truly appreciate the light. You nodded your head up and down. I added that we must experience and overcome all the darkness to truly appreciate the sunlight shining on our faces which you emphatically agreed. The darker sides to ourselves, our shadow sides, our fears; all must be accepted by us as well. We must love all of ourselves; light, and dark to be fully whole and authentic. This is where we deal with abandonment, or rejection core wounds that we must bring into neutrality. Until we love how we cope with, and create abandonment, and rejection within our lives, we are in resistance to our authentic, unconditional love that we are at our core, and continue to recreate these wounds repeatedly within what we were conditioned love to be.
I went to a spiritual retreat once, had a reiki session, and during one group discussion was unlocked into the full flow of unconditional love. It was so powerful that I literally cried and laughed at the same time, and it was expanding and recycling within every pore and fiber of me, and expanding out all around me, cycling back to me. You felt me unlock and texted me checking in on me within twenty to thirty minutes of the unlocking. About a week later, I was texting you, I triggered you. The next day, I felt you unlock, it was almost as powerful for me as it was when I unlocked, so I knew what you felt when I unlocked. We were not talking though, since I had upset you, so I did not check in with you in response. You had felt that I was not respecting you when I triggered you, so I told you I would respect your wishes and leave you alone. It was so difficult for me to not reach out to you, knowing what you went through, and I felt you go through. Nineteen days passed without me texting you, and you texted me. We reconciled and resumed communication.
This journey has taught me that I choose an energy, and you would respond in kind to my energy. I now see that I was continuing my inner wounded cycle of conditional love with myself, and you. I realized that I had to love myself, give to myself, receive within myself before I could send out love to you, give to you, receive you. I once told you that you are the extraordinary in a sea of ordinary. You are the breath of fresh air that lit my soul ember aflame, a gift from God. When you spoke to me, “where is my Heaven on Earth? I am ready for it.”, I saw prismatic lights coming out of you. The energy that I felt coming from you was so intense that it made me feel like I was dizzily spinning. In fact, in the moment my instinct was to walk up to you and touch you for grounding because you felt like the only stable thing around me.
Years ago, you let me know you were almost to your “Ah, happiness!”. I want you to appreciate the sunshine on your face every day. I want to know that every day your face lights up with your megawatt smile, and the world feels your glow. You are a brilliant light to witness in this dark world, I see your flame burning bright, and thank God for bearing witness of your authentic magnificence. I am aware that you are not perfect, I am not perfect, and accept you, and me for all that we are. I am attracted to your heart, and soul, as well as physically. You once joked with me that I wanted you for your body, and I played along, however, there is an intimacy with you that lets me know that I can connect with you at every level; mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. I know our connection is sacred, and I honor it, and God’s divine plans for our future.
Eternally Yours,
Eve