My Dearest Adam,
The spiritual healing work that I began was a personal self-inflicted hell. It did not take long to realize that I was resisting the necessary changes that I was called to make in my life. I was now on God’s path for me, and I had to surrender myself to His plans for me repeatedly, forgoing my own worldly ways. You see, God gives us what we need, not always what we want. Oh, I learned quickly the difference between want and need. Now I was confronted by so many things, situations, people in my life that no longer rang true. Being called to my truth to be unconditionally loving meant that I had to come up against everything in resistance to love itself.
I felt such an affinity with you, so it was painful as I witnessed us fall away from unconditional love. The aftermath of the fall back into a world full of conditions was confusing to me. You and I both distanced from each other to begin to come into our own truth. However, my own truth was within me, not outside of me. Now God used us both to trigger each other to confront conditions within our beliefs, and lives. It makes sense for Him to use you because you could call me to uphold my truth to overcome the conditions that were so difficult to transcend. He knew I trusted you, so I would do what I had to do to become a better version of myself. We had some intense ego battles with each other.
I remember one ego battle with you. I cried from my depths, I wanted you to feel the hurt that I was feeling, and I knew that you were able to, whether you chose to or not. My bouts of crying kept coming, so I decided to go to bed early. In my bed, I meditated and prayed, I asked God to help let you know how much I was hurting from our “fight”. When I say that I prayed and meditated on that, I mean I asked it with everything within me. Later I woke up to what I can only call an electrical storm, but it wasn’t outside, it was in my bed crackling all around me. Immediately I called out, “Stop it, I didn’t want to zap him!”. It stopped as soon as I spoke those words. You messaged me a couple days later seeming softer with me again. I know that I have pushed you, angered you, probably even hurt you in the past, and it hurts me to know that I have. However, I see that it was purposed to push me, motivate me, inspire me to become what God wanted. Not long after that electrical storm where I thought I was zapping you, we were talking, I was being slightly playful, and you asked me if I had just hit you. I replied that was impossible as I was away from you across the room. Jokingly though, I added that I have zapped people before without touching them.
Soon I was aware that my ego was a huge part of my resistance to love. This helped me in my self-transformation. You and I both have discussed how ego gets in the way of relationships and has no place within them. It is true that ego is a self-protection mechanism believed to keep ourselves safe from harm. Yet the protection is an illusion, and only acts to keep people trapped within self-inflicted limitations. It reminds people of a past incident attached to a story, and we keep repeating a cycle, at least until consciously choosing to break the cycle. We discussed this before too, about breaking generational patterns, behaviors, and cycles because we knew we were the generation to break free from ours.
I have also learned to love my core wounds on this journey. Once I took a core wound, root camp course that was soul work. The next day after my first session, I saw you, and told you that I thought I had done well since I only cracked once. You asked me why I was doing that course, and I told you that I was better able to help other people through their pain once I went through my own. My course was for several weeks and I made tremendous growth. A couple times I saw you while I was still in the course, twice you told me that you were having some strange things happening. I replied that I knew, and so was I. You emphasized and repeated it to me both times and each time I told you that I was as well. I can still see the expression on your face, it was like the cat that swallowed the canary, or the Cheshire cat. Telepathically, I heard you screaming, yes, I knew this had to do with you. We both received confirmation of our connection impacting each other’s lives.
Thank you, Adam, for being the conduit of God to help me no longer be within a story written for me and helping me to liberate myself from the story life which is a mere surviving life. Thank you, Adam, for being the man to first bring me a taste of living life, experiencing and savoring every precious moment of it. I will never forget you standing in front of me asking me if I thought it was possible that God used you to make me change my life as He is calling for me. I told you that yes, I agreed that was a possibility. You repeated it as a statement to me twice and had me confirm it again each time. Thank you, Adam, for being a gift from God to reveal to me that I was in resistance to love itself. You were able to know this, and to help me to see it because you are rooted within the Earth, yet connected within the Garden of Eden. Were you ever in resistance to love, or have you been patiently waiting for me to return to you in love and without resistance?
Eternally Yours,
Eve
The spiritual healing work that I began was a personal self-inflicted hell. It did not take long to realize that I was resisting the necessary changes that I was called to make in my life. I was now on God’s path for me, and I had to surrender myself to His plans for me repeatedly, forgoing my own worldly ways. You see, God gives us what we need, not always what we want. Oh, I learned quickly the difference between want and need. Now I was confronted by so many things, situations, people in my life that no longer rang true. Being called to my truth to be unconditionally loving meant that I had to come up against everything in resistance to love itself.
I felt such an affinity with you, so it was painful as I witnessed us fall away from unconditional love. The aftermath of the fall back into a world full of conditions was confusing to me. You and I both distanced from each other to begin to come into our own truth. However, my own truth was within me, not outside of me. Now God used us both to trigger each other to confront conditions within our beliefs, and lives. It makes sense for Him to use you because you could call me to uphold my truth to overcome the conditions that were so difficult to transcend. He knew I trusted you, so I would do what I had to do to become a better version of myself. We had some intense ego battles with each other.
I remember one ego battle with you. I cried from my depths, I wanted you to feel the hurt that I was feeling, and I knew that you were able to, whether you chose to or not. My bouts of crying kept coming, so I decided to go to bed early. In my bed, I meditated and prayed, I asked God to help let you know how much I was hurting from our “fight”. When I say that I prayed and meditated on that, I mean I asked it with everything within me. Later I woke up to what I can only call an electrical storm, but it wasn’t outside, it was in my bed crackling all around me. Immediately I called out, “Stop it, I didn’t want to zap him!”. It stopped as soon as I spoke those words. You messaged me a couple days later seeming softer with me again. I know that I have pushed you, angered you, probably even hurt you in the past, and it hurts me to know that I have. However, I see that it was purposed to push me, motivate me, inspire me to become what God wanted. Not long after that electrical storm where I thought I was zapping you, we were talking, I was being slightly playful, and you asked me if I had just hit you. I replied that was impossible as I was away from you across the room. Jokingly though, I added that I have zapped people before without touching them.
Soon I was aware that my ego was a huge part of my resistance to love. This helped me in my self-transformation. You and I both have discussed how ego gets in the way of relationships and has no place within them. It is true that ego is a self-protection mechanism believed to keep ourselves safe from harm. Yet the protection is an illusion, and only acts to keep people trapped within self-inflicted limitations. It reminds people of a past incident attached to a story, and we keep repeating a cycle, at least until consciously choosing to break the cycle. We discussed this before too, about breaking generational patterns, behaviors, and cycles because we knew we were the generation to break free from ours.
I have also learned to love my core wounds on this journey. Once I took a core wound, root camp course that was soul work. The next day after my first session, I saw you, and told you that I thought I had done well since I only cracked once. You asked me why I was doing that course, and I told you that I was better able to help other people through their pain once I went through my own. My course was for several weeks and I made tremendous growth. A couple times I saw you while I was still in the course, twice you told me that you were having some strange things happening. I replied that I knew, and so was I. You emphasized and repeated it to me both times and each time I told you that I was as well. I can still see the expression on your face, it was like the cat that swallowed the canary, or the Cheshire cat. Telepathically, I heard you screaming, yes, I knew this had to do with you. We both received confirmation of our connection impacting each other’s lives.
Thank you, Adam, for being the conduit of God to help me no longer be within a story written for me and helping me to liberate myself from the story life which is a mere surviving life. Thank you, Adam, for being the man to first bring me a taste of living life, experiencing and savoring every precious moment of it. I will never forget you standing in front of me asking me if I thought it was possible that God used you to make me change my life as He is calling for me. I told you that yes, I agreed that was a possibility. You repeated it as a statement to me twice and had me confirm it again each time. Thank you, Adam, for being a gift from God to reveal to me that I was in resistance to love itself. You were able to know this, and to help me to see it because you are rooted within the Earth, yet connected within the Garden of Eden. Were you ever in resistance to love, or have you been patiently waiting for me to return to you in love and without resistance?
Eternally Yours,
Eve